This post is the second in a mini Being A … Mom series I started a couple of weeks ago. Read the first one – Being A Sick Mom here)
They say age is only a number. They say act your age, not your shoe size. They say all sorts of weird and wonderful things about age but who are ‘they’ and does age really matter?
Since our grandmothers were born and went on to have children themselves, the trend seems to be that we’re leaving it later and later to become mothers. I imagine a large part of that is down to the fact many women are able to have careers these days before starting a family, and the availability of contraceptives meaning we do actually have a choice about these things.
But who knows when the right time to have a child is? At 18 you might have all the energy needed to put up with sleepless nights and crawling round on the floor after a little one. In your 40s you might be more financially secure. In your teens you might still want to be out partying but when you’re older you might have become so used to freedom you don’t want to give it up.
I was 24 when I got pregnant and had turned 25 by the time Alexandra was born. I feel that was a perfect time for me as I’d had time to start my career (I went to college after my A-Levels to do a journalism course so I was 19 when I started working full time) and had enough experience under my belt to have options available to me job-wise once my maternity leave was over. But to be honest, had I been living a different life and my partner wasn’t perhaps so stable I would have probably put things off for a couple of years.
Having a secure place to live, income and a dependable other half are all massive issues in the decision. As it was, Dylan already had children so I knew he was more than ready to take on the task of becoming a dad again. A big part of it though was the fact I’d never been broody before. Yes, I’d thought about becoming a mom in the future, I’d cooed over babies I met, but I’d never had that overwhelming feeling of wanting a baby right now until we were together.
My sister’s just become a mom at 20. Personally, I can’t imagine having had a child at that age when I look back at what my life was like then. But she’s so different and in a completely different situation. She’s already proving what a fantastic mom she is when I’m pretty sure I would have been terrible at 20!
Right now I’m positive my choice to become a mom at 25 was the right one and I hope this stays true into the future (a twee ending sentence but a true one all the same!).
Harriet and Alexandra x