When we found out our baby was a little girl, myself and Dylan discussed how feasible locking her in a cupboard under the stairs was from the age of about ten until she was 18 to avoid all the mood swings, strops and other related horrors associated with the teen years. There’s a huge possibility it could turn out okay (anyone read Harry Potter?!) but we decided against it – and anyway, we’d have nowhere to store our shoes and that carrier bag full of other carrier bags it’s actually compulsory to have in your house.
Either way, we thought we had years yet to come up with a solution to the fact teenagers are, by and large, annoying idiots. It turns out we were wrong.
At the grand old age of 11 months, Alexandra now displays many of the qualities of a teenager. I was speaking to a friend whose little girl is just a few days older than Alex and she’s facing the same problem too which is simultaneously comforting and worrying (is this an epidemic? Should we warn others?)
VERY stroppy when woken up, often refusing to get out of bed until SHE’S ready.
Wilfully ignores you if you ask her to do something she doesn’t want to do.
Continually looks like she hasn’t washed for days.
Wants to wander round in very little clothing most days.
Tries to push bedtime later and later.
Obsessed with phones.
Most of what she says is utter nonsense.
Spends a lot of time looking at herself in mirrors.
Very low concentration levels.
Tantrums. Oh the tantrums.
Send help please!
Harriet and Alexandra x