Bump Bashing

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A (correctly sized) week 28 bump.

Although a couple of weeks ago I did manage to spectacularly misjudge my own size and bash the bump right into a table (sorry about that baby!), the title of this post actually refers to the annoying sport of ‘compare the bump’ that most people want to play. As I’ve touched on before, there’s a whole host of spectacularly insensitive, stupid and downright unnecessary comments others make at/to you when you’re pregnant; b

ut all of the remarks relating specifically to the look of the bump are a category in their own right. And thus the subject of my mini rant today!

Size – myself, and pretty much every other pregnant woman on the planet, has I guarantee at some point been told their bump looks really small considering how pregnant they are. They’ve also been told it looks really big considering how pregnant they are. Make up your minds people, which is it to be? It makes me laugh that people think there is a standard size to be at all points during pregnancy – because clearly all women are the same size and shape to begin with right? Next time you go to comment on someone’s size (unless it’s ‘aww what a perfect bump’!), think about this – even health professionals often don’t predict the size of the baby correctly and they’ve been measuring the bump regularly (and they actually have some expert knowledge!).

Shape – as if feeling under pressure to have a perfect size bump isn’t enough, you also have to conform to people’s ideas of what the bump should look like too! People want to comment on how low/high up it is, whether you’re carrying all round or just at the front etc. My baby is currently so low that she’s at risk of falling out (disclaimer: probably not medically possible) and I look at people with really cute neat high-up bumps with a tinge of jealousy. But they’re probably looking at me thinking ‘I bet that girl’s ribs aren’t half as sore as mine’. (They’re not, but my back and pelvis feel like they’re actually mangled). So it’s a lose lose. Like in school when you used to want curly hair and all the girls with amazing curls just wanted straight hair.

So my message to the ridiculous commenters of the world today is: women are different shapes and sizes, babies are different shapes and sizes. Put one into the other and you’re going to have a different outcome every time. If you feel the need to comment on someone’s bump, if you really can’t suppress the desire then please, something complimentary not judgy would be best! We’re growing babies not mass producing pottery, one size does not fit all!

Harriet and bump x

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