Expectation V Reality

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Expectation:
Sleep when the baby sleeps.
Reality:
For the first couple of weeks – stare at the baby while the baby sleeps.
For the next couple of months – attempt to get life in order while baby sleeps, eat, shower, wash up, prepare dinners for the rest of the week, think about brushing your hair.
After that – binge watch RuPaul’s Drag Race.

Expectation:
They’ll be sleeping through the night in no time.
Reality:
Baby’s a bit quiet, do you think we should check on her?
It’s 2am. Everyone else is asleep. I’m just going to have a think about all the possible horrendous things that could happen in life.
Never stop worrying again.
Expectation:
Wow I can make this baby look really cute in tiny outfits.
Reality:
Fighting with fucking tiny buttons all the time.
Sick. Sick everywhere.
Poo explosions.
Expectation:
They won’t have a favourite until they’re at least at school.
Reality:
Daddy daddy daddy.
Sorry who are you?
Expectation:
Take the baby everywhere with you and they can fit into your life seamlessly.
Reality:
Take the baby and ten tonnes of paraphernalia with you.
Take them places and end up talking solely about the baby. Talk only about the baby even when you don’t take them.
Only get invited to places because you’re bringing the baby.
Expectation:
This will be a challenge.
Reality:
The hardest thing you’ve ever done. But also the best.
Harriet and Alexandra x

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