It’s inevitable when you’re looking at becoming a parent that you start thinking about all of the things you will (and won’t) do and what your preferred options were. Now that we’re set to become second-time parents (fourth time for Dylan, but second time together), in some ways it’s easier to plan because you know what worked and what didn’t work but you also have no idea how your baby will differ from the one you’ve already been through all of this with – you know what they say about the best laid plans!
Anyway, I thought I’d share what our plans are with Baby 2 – things like weaning, feeding etc. But first up: routine.
Routine is one of those areas where there’s such a huge variety of opinions, from people who think you should probably buy your child a calendar while they’re still in utero and plan every second of the day out to those who have no plans to introduce any kind of routine.
With Alexandra, we were much closer to the second option. Luckily, she’s a very adaptable little thing and so she’s never really thrown out by going out at different times and having different things to do on each day. She just goes with the flow and (besides getting grumpy if she hasn’t had enough sleep – don’t we all!) as such we haven’t ever had to say ‘we can’t go out in the morning because Alex needs a nap’ or anything like that.
When she was little, we let her get into a sleep pattern which happily ended up suiting all of us. It means she goes to bed a little later than most of the other toddlers we know, but that also means it’s not a problem that we generally don’t eat til half six and it gives Dylan more time with her in the evenings. She likes to nap around 11am but if we’re out or she’s at nursery she generally won’t sleep now, but then she’ll go down for longer in the afternoon.
With Baby 2 we’ll probably do the same where we try and have a less structured routine. I’ve heard a lot of people say second babies just go with the flow so that’s reassuring. Because I generally use Alexandra’s nap time to work (slash occasionally just sit and look at Instagram) it won’t matter too much if their naps don’t synchronise in the early days. Alex will carry on going to nursery two mornings a week during my maternity leave so I guess it would be good if he was asleep for at least some of that time so I can clean the house, do laundry etc but if not we will just have to work around it! I’m also hoping to use those two days to run errands that will be harder to do with a toddler AND a baby.
Overnight, it would be EXCELLENT if he decides to sleep through early on like his sister did, but part of me is expecting a horrendous sleeper to make up for how lucky we were last time. Dylan is convinced the fact that we did certain things helped Alex sleep through earlier so we will be doing them again (and I guess that will be the test of whether they had an impact or not!): those things were mainly about establishing the difference between night and day so whereas we’d talk to her and interact with her during feeds in the day, we wouldn’t really interact with her during night feeds (unless she was upset obviously! We’re not totally mean) and we’d just have the en-suite light on with the door open enough for us to see what we were doing, rather than turning a light on in the bedroom, which hopefully reinforced the message that we were being quiet and going back to sleep!
Essentially, Baby 2 will have the chance to set his own routine just like Alex did, but with the vague hope that they marry up in some sort of way otherwise I’ll be stuck in the house rotating which child is asleep at any one time! Wish me luck.
Harriet, Alexandra and bump x