Questions For My Toddler

Toddlers are an alien entity. They can communicate fairly effectively with us using a complicated system of words, sounds that aren’t quite words, nods, shakes, pointing and generally stamping their feet until they get what they want. Nevertheless, I have many questions I’d like to ask Alexandra on a daily basis, and I wish I could live inside her head for a while to fathom out exactly what goes on in there. For now I have recorded some of these questions here, in the hope she might remember in a few years about some of the things she did as a toddler, and I can finally get some answers!

  • Why are you not delighted when given the opportunity to nap in the day? I would be.
  • Why is my food better than yours, even if it’s exactly the same?
  • Is Mr Tumble REALLY that entertaining?
  • Where is your radar which attracts you to expensive, breakable things and how can I switch it off?
  • Why do you feel the need to go to the toilet 20 seconds after I’ve changed you? Is it the same reason as cats pooing in a fresh litter tray?
  • Have you ever considered just sitting still occasionally?
  • Does the TV look better standing with your face three centimetres from the screen? Are we all missing a trick sitting across the room on a sofa?
  • Why do you wake up incredibly late on days we need to go somewhere (even later if we’re relying on you as our alarm clock) and early on days where we have no plans?
  • What’s the obsession with taking your shoes off as soon as we get in the car? Why, if you don’t want them on in the car, do you present them to me to put them on your feet as we’re leaving the house?
  • Why are you so adorable?

Harriet, Alexandra and bump x

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