Trying To Conceive


I’ve said it before, both on this blog and in real life, I can’t believe how hugely lucky we were to conceive our little one relatively quickly. I also can’t believe the rollercoaster of emotions we went through even in that really short space of time. It would be absolutely remiss of me to pretend to know how it feels to try and be unable to conceive, or for it to take absolutely ages, but anyone in that position has my complete and utter good wishes and also respect- it must be hugely challenging. Everywhere you look there are children or pregnant women. Once you get to a certain age or a certain stage in your life (whether that be settled with a partner, married etc) people start asking ‘so when are you going to start trying?’ if you’ve already started trying and it hasn’t happened yet, the frustration of that question must be unbearable.

When we started trying, it felt really quite casual. That’s not to say we hadn’t had many chats before and come to a 100 per cent definite decision we did want to have a child together. And of course we’d both thought about it a lot separately too. But the actual process of ‘well we could start trying now’ was very calm and almost a non-event. I promised myself I would be so laid back about it, I wouldn’t stress, I would focus on other things and if it happened, it happened. If it didn’t, so what, we’d have the wedding first and then after that start researching fertility-boosting methods and what assistance would be possible.

But less than a couple of weeks in, I found myself getting overly focused on it. I felt so aware of myself and every small change in my body. These changes in the first two months when I wasn’t actually pregnant must have been due to coming off contraception, but of course the tiredness and the hormones and the boob ache is all symptomatic of pregnancy so there was this little hope in me that I would be.

Aside from making me worried about how I’ll cope if we decide to have another and it doesn’t happen as easily second time round, the over-thinking and over-worrying I did in those three months between deciding and the positive test did show me one thing – I was much more desperate for a baby than I thought I was! Which is probably a good thing really…!

Harriet and bump x

The Magic Moment


It seems only logical to start this blog with an explanation of the ‘magic moment’ (not the conception for those with their minds in the gutter!) – when we found out I was growing a tiny person inside me. That sounds ridiculously twee but if you’re not allowed to be twee about creating a new life, when can you be? Dylan (bump’s daddy and my husband-to-be) and I weren’t really expecting things to happen so quickly. *Look away now mom, TMI coming up* We’d started trying to conceive in October last year (2014) but weren’t doing the whole testing, using apps, knowing when I was ovulating, me doing handstands for hours (do people really do that?) thing. It was more a ‘when it happens, it happens’. Although I did go a bit neurotic about it for a while, more on that in a separate post. *You can come back now mom*.

So whilst we weren’t actively trying to prevent a baby, it wasn’t a massive focus in our life and it was very much being left to whatever Mother Nature decided. So much so the following month (November) we booked our wedding for September this year and we kinda carried on as normal really, just occasionally doing a test just in case. January rolled round and I had been feeling really out of sorts, but just put it down to a variety of other reasons and didn’t want to be too over hopeful. On Friday evening mid-month we found an amazing honeymoon deal and booked it, swooning over the beautiful pictures and talking excitedly about all the things we would be seeing.

Less than 48 hours later Dylan was due to leave my house for the week (we were still living in separate houses at this point) and we decided it would probably be a good idea to see why Aunt Flo hadn’t turned up (three days late). I happened to have a pregnancy test in my bedroom so into the bathroom I went. I didn’t even need to wait three minutes, that line was there clear and bold for anyone to see within seconds. Yep, I was definitely up the duff, with child, bun firmly in oven.

But with honeymoon booking fresh in my mind and the clashing dates potential, the first thing I said to Dylan was ‘don’t be angry’ – as if he would be able to be irate at me. After all, I keep reminding him it IS his fault. Anyway, I laugh/cried hysterically for a while (read: probably an hour). Then we realised we had all sorts of practical things to do so off we went to Aldi and to drop a wedding invite round at his friend’s house. It was all very surreal. I don’t think I even took in at that point we were having a baby – I was still trying to process the whole ‘being pregnant’ thing. It probably doesn’t even make sense that those two things were separate in my mind but I think even now 13 weeks on I’m struggling to get my head round the concept of becoming a mom, although bump doesn’t let me forget the fact I’m actually pregnant.

So that about covers the finding out part, much more to share soon!

Harriet and bump x