Is it just me who wishes the old saying of ‘if I had a pound’ was true for the phrase ‘treasure them’ or any of its connotations? I think I’d be sunning myself on my own private island right now if I’d started when we announced our pregnancy.
I’ve posted a lot about things people say during pregnancy and motherhood that are either naïve, ridiculous or just plain dumb and it’s probably lead some readers to think I’m ridiculously grumpy (it’s true, I’m not ashamed). But this one’s been rubbing me up the wrong way for a while.
I know it’s true, I just don’t see the value in the phrase? It’s like some throwaway comment people offer when really they have nothing intelligent to add to the conversation. Everyone in the whole wide world knows that the portion of your life you spend being a baby is fleeting and thus it’s not a huge jump to arrive at the thought that being a mother to a baby is all too short an experience. I am (and was from before conception) aware that pretty soon Alexandra will be a toddler and then a pre-schooler and then a child and then a teen and then an adult. It’s logic. It’s the way the entire world operates.
At one point we had no idea if I would ever make those stages and there’s still a part of me that remains convinced my condition will creep up and slap us in the face again one day and that with an already weakened heart I might not be so lucky next time. So I find it fairly insulting when complete strangers tell me to treasure my child. You think every time I hold her or watch her play or learn a new skill, I don’t say a silent thank you to whoever’s out there for that moment? You think every time all three of us wake up happy and healthy in the morning I don’t breathe a sigh of relief? You think I don’t hold back tears every day when I think about what might have been and how much I could have missed. The fact there won’t be a second, another baby to see transform from a newborn to a mobile, babbling infant, makes this feeling even more acute.
There’s hardly a single mother in the world who doesn’t absolutely treasure their child and realise them being tiny is so fleeting. Yes they may get stressed, tired, tear their hair out, despair, cry, moan etc. But believe me they’re still treasuring this little miracle they’ve been entrusted with. It’s a bit patronising to suggest otherwise!
Harriet and Alexandra x