You Know You Own A Toddler When:

Alex getting told she was annoying by the magician at her cousins' birthday party as she kept wondering round!

Alex getting told she was annoying by the magician at her cousins’ birthday party as she kept wondering round!

You know you own a toddler when:

  • You can’t name any of the songs in the charts but hear THAT’S MY TUMMY, TUMMY BEGINS WITH T, T, U, M, M, Y, SPELLS TUMMY at least 50 times a day.
  • Everything in your home that isn’t secured down is situated above 1m.
  • You haven’t tasted any food properly since they were six months old, as if you eat it too slow they’ll want it too.
  • On a similar note, you hide in the bathroom to eat chocolate.
  • You used to just have an angry voice, now you have a variety including the ‘stop throwing things now, I really don’t want to have to tidy up again’ voice, the ‘if you break that I will actually sell you on eBay’ voice and the ‘I’ve actually lost my shit now, I’m not talking to you until daddy gets home’ voice.
  • You’ve cried more than once because your husband’s stuck in traffic and will be late home.
  • Walks now take ten times as long as you have to chase every pigeon, leaf or piece of litter you encounter on the way.
  • Everything you own has mucky fingerprints on it.
  • You automatically name the colour and shape of everything you pick up, whether the toddler’s with you or not.

Harriet and Alexandra x

 

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